Hello Betsey

 1 Response »
May 162013
 

Hello Betsey Johnson. I blame Zulilly for my new crack habit. Which is actually a compliment.

I blame twitter. And the BlogHer ads on my sidebar.

The iPhone app was just the last straw before my resolve broke.

The first delivery was totally my gateway drug. I don’t even know what it was because shipping is so delayed that shit shows up three weeks after I hit submit on the cart. I just know I opened the box and found Nirvana.

I stare at the bright screen in my hand and marvel at the Gucci “sale” because I’m never going to be rich enough to consider a $2,000 purse. Mainly because The Husband is The Sensible One in our relationship and he’d kill me for even Thinking about Thinking About It, even if I was dripping in diamonds and champagne. But the rest? Like a pair of work shoes for The Husband and the cowboy boots for kiddo’s pony lessons and the Betsey Johnson’s that The BFF insisted would look amazing on me even though I thought she was high? Yeah, it’s all been filed under “Must Buy Now Or Kick Self in Ass Later.”

Don’t tell anyone, but The Husband might need to join my 12-Step program, too.

He’s got my password. Which is why he knows that my sunglasses were Normal People priced and my one chance for instant Rock Star.

Just add Russian Red lipstick & Betsey Johnson.

 

Not so fine print: No this is not a sponsored post. I’m too busy to write paid reviews and too brain-fogged to coordinate anything more complicated than my outfit. If I want to write about something, I write it. If I don’t, you can buy an ad because I sound like a used car salesman, otherwise.

Slightly smaller print: Unless I’m telling you about things that rhyme with Crack-Like Zulilly Addictions.

Introducing Eliana Mercedes, Blogger Child

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May 152013
 

 

because her imagination trumps your opinion. Always.

A conversation with Eliana, my almost-six-year-old.

Me: Baby? What do you think of when I say the word “beauty?”

Eliana: Beast.

Me: I like it. But let’s think of things you think are beautiful. What are the first five things you can think of?

Eliana (thinking): Flowers. And butterflies. And Princesses.

Me: Anything else?

Eliana: Yep. Love. And people’s spirits. That makes them beautiful.

This will be my daughter’s first transcribed post as a contributor to Holly Fulger’s Speaking of Beauty blogging team. She talks. I type what she says. Or maybe vlog it. It all depends on if she’s feeling like a rock star or a writer when it’s time to work like Mama.
And this is the bio I wrote up for her.

 Eliana Mercedes is the daughter of The Husband and writer Pauline M. Campos. Up until now, she has been known online simply as Buttercup. But this homeschooling first-grader is now a blogger, which means Eliana Mercedes looks better in a byline. She has no idea what that means yet and only hopes it includes the chance to adopt a baby beluga and visit Disney World one day.

I’m kind of proud. Kind of scared. And maybe a little crazy. But keep in mind that this child does not watch TV with commercials and has no concept of the media trying to brainwash us all into a singular concept of beauty. That’s exactly why I cannot wait to see what she has to say next.

 

Housekeeping! (A List in Accented English)

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May 152013
 

* Yes, I did in fact say that in my head with an exaggerated Spanish-accented English voice.

* Because I can.

* If you don’t laugh, you’re actually hurting my feelings.

* Things are insane.

* Hence, the list.

* Turns out you guys are all Made of Awesome.

* Why, you ask?

* Because 418 of you signed my Change.org petition to get Disney to drop the sex kitten crap with Merida.

* It’s too late.

* Maybe.

* She’s been crowned & the new image is available on a variety of Crap We’ll Buy Our Kids Because We’re Giant Suckers.

* And because even if she’s been sexed up, the movie is still amazing.

* Oh right.

* Because if we tell our children it’s the message that matters and not the size of her waistline, we done good.

* We have no choice, really, since Disney contradicted the very message behind Brave with this whole debacle.

* You know, the one about family, independence, and finding the strength to find out own fates within us?

* Yeah, that one.

* The happy asides?

* A Mighty Girl has a petition with over 18,000 signatures.

* Brave’s director is a bit pissed off about the animated plastic surgery job, too.

* So high five on that, y’all.

* New subject.

* Keep up with me, will you?

* I’ve got an updated version of my Mind Over Medicine review on Girl Body Pride.

* You’ll want to stop by.

* Gigi Ross from Kludgey Mom needs some love.

* And Lissa Rankin has written a book I promise you’ll want to read.

* Trust me on this one.

* Also? I’ve got a winner for the Aspiring Mama giveaway of Mind Over Medicine.

* Tanessa Knoll? Buttercup just said Comment Number Two is my winner.

* So … you’re welcome.

* Email me your address, will ya?

* Twitter works, too.

* New subject.

* Yes.

* AGAIN.

* Buttercup is about to follow in Mama’s footsteps.

* Little girl has been granted permission by The Mama (me) & The Daddy (The Husband) for a pretty cool gig.

* Girlfriend is going to be a regular contributor to Holly Fulger’s Speaking of Beauty blogging team.

* Which also happens to include me.

* I know, right?

* The girl can read at a fourth grade level but has the typing skills of a 5-year-old.

* Probably because she is five.

* So I can’t knock her for that.

* Instead, I’ll be transcribing my baby’s words and views on what beauty means to her.

* I promise not to edit what she says.

* I hope like hell I’ve done right by her and taught her that beauty is everywhere.

* That the only size that matters when it comes to beauty is the size of our hearts.

* And that society is full of assholes who will try & knock her down a peg or two but that they don’t matter.

* I’ll know I’ve succeeded in about 10 years.

* If the child is self-assured enough to wear this when she’s 15 because it makes her happy without giving a damn what you think?

 

That cape is her Royalty Crown. Just saving you the argument cuz I'm nice like that.

* I win at motherhood.

* Whiplash warning.

* New subject.

* I really need to take my Xanax.

* That wasn’t the subject change.

* Just proof that I need the fucking Xanax.

* This is the subject change…

* Dammit.

* I forgot.

* No, wait.

* GOT IT!

* Girl Body Pride has new team members!

* Congrats to Heidi Zalamar and Margaret Elysia Garcia.

* You guys kick major ass.

* I promise to add your bios to the writer page sometime before 2014 hits.

* Was that all?

* No, seriously.

* I was asking you if I needed to cover anything else before I chase that Xanax with an instant espresso.

* Shut up.

* It works for me.

* Last subject.

* I’m still sitting in a secret.

* And it’s a Big One.

* Oh…

* And The Husband just warned me to be on the lookout for the family of moose in the area when I let the dogs out.

* Drops Mic & Saunters Offstage.

 

Do You Believe in Mind Over Medicine? (You Should…)

 2 Responses »
May 062013
 

Mind over Matter.

Is the glass half-full or half-empty?

Do you focus on the cellulite and stretch marks or celebrate your body and the blessings it has brought you?

Will you look for the silver lining or just bitch about the rain pouring down from the clouds above?

It isn’t easy. Too often, we overlook the fact that how our perceptions have a very real effect on our realities. If you’re convinced you can’t do something, chances are you won’t. Change the perception and shift to the positive, and suddenly we find ourselves making like The Little Engine that Could. We stop self-defeating and start self-motivating and suddenly the glass is half-full, we love ourselves as we are, and find ourselves dancing in the rain. Because we opened our minds to the power of positivity.

Not many question our ability to choose happiness. We tell our children they need only believe to achieve and then marvel as we watch them learn to ride a bike, blossoming as their confidence grows. That’s how powerful our minds are.

Or maybe that’s just the beginning. What if our minds hold not only the power to change our perceptions, but also heal our bodies? It might sound like Crazy Talk, but you can’t argue the conclusive research presented by my friend Lissa Rankin in her new book, Mind Over Medicine: Scientific Proof That You Can Heal Yourself. Lissa’s book launches on May 7 with Hay House, and it’s an incredible read already making major waves. Major waves, people. As in PBS is Producing a Special on Lissa’s Work major.

Mind over Medicine is the culmination of three year’s of research in which Lissa shows us how our thoughts, beliefs, and feelings get translated into the physiology of the cells of every organ in the body. Diet, exercise, adequate sleep, and vitamins are all important, but they play a small role when compared to the physiological effects of health poisons like fear, loneliness, work stress, anxiety, and depression. Our bodies can and do heal themselves every day. The problem is that the current health care model in place, accepted both by mainstream medicine and patients alike, flat out ignores anything that can’t be fixed with a pill.

In Mind over Medicine, Lissa shows us that our minds can heal our bodies simply by turning on our relaxation responses with mediation, creative expression, having lots of sex, being optimistic, and having lots of sex. Which I probably already mentioned, but it seems like a pretty important point.

Lissa is on a mission to change our own thinking, help us become empowered self-advocates of change and healing while encouraging healthcare practitioners to embrace what what our bodies already know.

It’s Mind over Medicine. We have the power to heal ourselves. We only need to be open to the possibility.

Because I truly believe Lissa is a change-agent who has created a book you need to read, I’m doing everything I can to support her in the Mind Over Medicine launch. I’ve pre-ordered a few copies of the book, available tomorrow on all major retailers, for giveaways here and on Girl Body Pride. I’ve got three copies coming my way, people. That’s three chances to win a free copy of Mind Over Medicine. Bonus? Buy your own copy of Lissa’s book and I’ll throw in a free download coupon for Girl Body Pride’s Strong Life Butterflyanthology (which happens to feature one of Lissa’s essays!). Simply email me a copy of your receipt!

To enter to win ONE COPY of Mind Over Medicine here on Aspiring Mama, simply leave a comment on this post.

For an extra entry, copy and paste the following and tweet, tweet, y’all:

Do you believe in Mind Over Medicine? Win 1 copy of ‘s  from  here!

Entries will be accepted until midnight, EST, on Monday, May 13.

Brave, Defined Waistlines, & Pauline’s Soap Box

 1 Response »
May 032013
 

Listed under: Good News!

Disney is officially welcoming Merida from Brave as the 11th princess!

Listed under: What the HELL, Mickey?

Disney has also decided that Merida needed lipo, a facelift, and a “come hither” look to look just right for her coronation!

For serious, people. Let’s take a look at the Before and Afters, shall we?

BEFORE: Disney's Merida from Brave -- Feisty, Relatable, Inspiring.

 

AFTER: The New Merida -- Sexed Up & Ready To Be Crowned.

I’m not ready to explain to my little girl that Disney didn’t think her hero was acceptable as she is. I don’t want to tell her that a defined waistline is valued more than strength of character. I won’t tell her that sex sells more merchandise.

Maybe there isn’t enough time. Maybe Merida gets her animated Nip/Tuck, anyway. I accept that. I also know that I’ll have done the right thing by at least trying when I tell my daughter that sometimes, Other People are narrow-minded, judgmental idiots who think what we look like matters more than who we are and that Other People don’t matter when she’s looking at her own reflection in the mirror.

Because she is her own source of self-worth.

Your daughters…they are, too.

That’s why I started a petition on Change.org. asking Disney to drop the sex-kitten and crown Merida as she appears in the movie that inspired our girls and celebrated the bond between mother and daughter.

Read it.

Sign it.

Even if we don’t change Disney’s mind, at least show our daughters we accept them just the way they are.

 

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