IMG00279-20091031-1739 I haven’t had much time to get online in the last few days due to the    craziness that is my life.

For starters, I got off my ass when it came to wishing my Baby f(ph)at off and joined a gym. It’s got a daycare, owners I want to hang out with when they aren’t making me sweat, and I’m think I’m good to go.

Then of course there was the Halloween thing Buttercup was so excited about. I love that she’s old enough to “get it” now, and was effin’ giddy that she actually held up her plastic pumpkin and proudly whispered out a “Trick or Treat” to every house we stopped by. It was cute. It was adorable. And even though she won’t see much of the  candy we scored due to her gluten-free diet, I was thrilled to be on the Mama side of childhood magic.


I am not, however, thrilled that she went to bed without getting her teeth brushed. I let the little stinker enjoy one mini snickers as a treat at our friend’s house, and she promptly passed out in the car on the three minute ride

home. And now she’s in bed, in full cheerleader awesomeness, while I try and convince myself that I won’t blame her first cavity when she’s 16 on this evening’s trangression.

Note to self: add “toothbrush and toothpaste” to next year’s Halloween Diaper Bag checklist. Even if it’s only to save myself some money on therapy.



My little girl loves to read stories before bed each night. And here I caught her in Whiteboard and in Black and White on my new Blackberry. Mommy moments like this just make me all gooey inside. (The bedtime stories, I mean. I was so totally not talking about the phone.)



Life got crazy. I was flying through my Baby F(ph)at, cruising through a novel, and then shit hit the fan.

So I blogged (in code) about the shit hitting the fan.

Then my family and I cleaned up the mess. We survived.

So I blogged about our family surviving.

And then I found myself floundering for a creative nudge, a “hello” from my muse to let me know it was okay to start writing again.

So I blogged about losing momentum.

Now I’m excited. My muse just finished up her damned coffee break and clocked back in and it’s about fucking time. I’m writing again, and not just on my blog.

So now I’m blogging about writing, not just on my blog.

Baby F(Ph)at, Mama’s ready and raring to go.


Pizza Hut, Dominoes, McDonalds, and all that other fast food goodness are all bad words in the house of a Celiac family. The Husband was diagnosed six years ago, and ever since we’ve been gingerly navigating the world of Safe Foods vs. Oops-I-Poisoned-Him.

It isn’t fun.

But he’s a big boy and at least has the understanding of what he has to avoid and why. Buttercup, however, is a different story. She hasn’t been officially diagnosed as of yet, but we are following her pediatrician’s advice to hold off on testing until she’s three or four to allow for more accurate results. And since I’m cooking this way, anyway, Buttercup and her Daddy are staying on a gluten-free menu.

The Husband used to hate when commercials for Pizza Hut would come on until I came up with my own recipe for a pizza so good that even I’ll sit down and eat a slice. Now, I’m not a cookbook author or a chef and I don’t play on on this blog, either.So I’ll apologize in advance for that headache i’m gonna give you while you try and make sense of my own special brand of crazy.  But if you are interested in some gluten-free pizza-y- goodness, here ya go.

Prep Time:

Don’t hold your breath.


Air Bake Pizza Pan (the kind with the wholes at the bottom so the crust cooks evenly)

Tin Foil


1 package Bob’s Red Mill Pizza Crust Mix (You’re gonna need 2 eggs and a TBS of oil to add to this as listed on package directions.)

1 TBS sugar (I’ll tell you why in a minute)

Kraft All Natural Italian Shredded Cheese (2 packs)

Pizza Sauce (I use Kroger Brand because we like the taste)

1/4 pound Boar’s Head Pepperoni (from the deli counter)

**Toppings are up to you, of course, but I’ve also used Shitake Mushrooms, Boar’s Head Sweet Slice Ham, and black olives.


Start with the directions on the Pizza Crust Mix. My own suggestions is to start this a few hours before you actually expect to eat because the crust tastes best when you allow the yeast to sit (along with about a TBS of sugar) in the water you will be directed to mix it with. I usually give it an hour or two. Then I pull out the electric mixer, follow the package directions some more, which has me leaving the fully mixed dough to rise. The package says 20 minutes, I leave it for an hour. Trust me on this.

Once you’ve got your dough ready to go, preheat the oven according to the package directions and get yourself a bowl of water to moisten hands while spreading dough. Oil up the pizza pan (I use a Misto), place something below it to minimize clean up,  and work your magic. It will take some work, but once you have the  dough spread out you need to stick it in the oven for about 8 minutes before pulling it out to add toppings. (Make sure you already have the bottom of the oven lined in tin foil if you have an air bake pan. The first time I did this I was cleaning the oven for hours trying to get the crumbs that scraped off the bottom of the pan when I pulled the pizza out.)

I use the entire bottle of pizza sauce, then spread out one entire bag of cheese. To this, I add the already cut up pepperoni and then spread just a bit of cheese from the second package on top for that “from the pizza parlour” look.

And then I pop it in the oven. My magic number is 17 minutes on this oven, so keep an eye on your pie to see what number is best for you. IMG00233-20091022-1739

And then boom. You’re done. Time for cutting it up, serving it, and saying “That’s just Awesome.” Or at lease, that’s what The Husband and Buttercup say. (And here’s Buttercup eating her pizza crust first.)


It’s important to note that you can make your pizza exactly according to the directions on the back of the package and come out with a decent pizza. I’m just sharing my own little twists that have been certified by two very picky Celiacs. It takes some time, but holy wow, is it worth it.



This was too cute not to post.

Buttercup and I are working on phasing her back into sleeping solo in her own bed (as opposed to squished between mama and daddy) and so far, I’m surviving.

This particular photo was taken after she screamed herself silly for about a half hour (which left me feeling like I’d just left a rock concert with no over-priced T-shirt to show for it) and finally passed out all lady-like as seen above.

Not pictured is the make-shift bed I have on the floor right next to Buttercup’s for the middle of the night “Mama-fests” where I come running after hearing her scream some more on the baby monitor. There, I lay down, hold her hand as she settles back to sleep, and usually wake up the next morning with a stiff back and major pain in my neck.

Of course, she’s all smiles.

Note to readers with Better Ideas on How to Raise My Kid: With all due respect, kiss off. I won’t tell you that Little Johnny shouldn’t be watching “The Crow” instead of that sweet G-rated movie from Netflix or that Smily Suzie really should have been off the bottle at 12 months so her teeth don’t get jacked up if you don’t tell me that I shouldn’t be coddling my kid in the middle of the night. Deal? Great. Then let’s move on now, shall we?

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