“Embrace rejection! Wink at it, laugh, maybe bake a rejection pie. You’ll get there. Why not have fun along the way?” –Agent Michelle Humphrey of the Martha Kaplan Agency as quoted in the October edition of Writer’s Digest.
I couldn’t have read this little piece of genius on a more perfect day. There I was, minding my own business on twitter, checking email, and working on edits when two (that’s right, T-W-O) rejections came in, not five minutes apart.
To tell you the truth, the second one didn’t even faze me. My eyes were still adjusting to the fact that I had struck out again from the first email.
I blinked, sighed, cursed my writer’s ego for having the audacity to think that a perfect stranger would love my words, and then sighed again, straightened my back, puffed out my chest, and said, “Screw it. On to the next.”
Because really, there’s no where else to go but up if I plan on getting anywhere. But that’s easy to say now, of course. When the next response comes floating in, I’ll be a bundle of nerves as a gather up the courage to actually open the email, and then holding my breath while I wait for the next batch of courage to be gathered up before I can actually open my eyes. And then…
Well…
It’s either a happy dance or a rejection pie. Or maybe rejection shoes? Or perhaps a pair of rejection earrings?
I asked The Husband today what he thought I could treat myself with every rejection I face and overcome; something that would make me smile, laugh, and a little bit giddy. He automatically suggested going out for a drink with a friend and getting whatever girly drink comes in those big ol’ take-me-home glasses so I could start my own collection. Then he stopped, looked at me, and said maybe that wasn’t such a good idea. After all, I really don’t have time to join AA.
“But I can’t bake a rejection pie!” I wailed. “I wrote a book about my ass being too big. Baking a pie is really kind of counter-productive, considering I’m only on number 8 of what could be an incredibly long line of doors slammed in my face. Think of the calories!”
“A glass of wine then? One for every rejection?”
I just looked at him. “Really? I’m trying to find something I don’t usually do on a regular basis.”
“I thought we had ruled out AA meetings,” he countered.
“Right…what about shoes? I could buy a pair for every…”
“No.” He didn’t even let me finish the sentence. And honestly, that hurt.
“I could get a new book for the nook, maybe?”
He laughed. “Like you’ll have time to read that many.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Seriously?”
“Um, I didn’t mean…”
This time I cut him off. ” Whatever. How about a new silver charm for my pandora bracelet? I kinda like that idea.”
“That could be a lot of charms…”
“Did you forget to turn your filter on this morning?”
His eyes twinkled and the corners of his lips twitched for just a moment before he regained control and he was able to speak. “I just meant, maybe you can think of something a bit more affordable? You’re the one who said this wasn’t going to be easy.”
And he’s right. I am the one that said that. Which means me thinking I can buy a $25 charm for every rejection means I need a job to support that Rejection Celebration habit I’m trying to start.
So I need ideas, peeples. Something fun that won’t break the bank. And I’m fully expecting my comments to explode on this post because I know I am not the only person in the world looking for a pick-me-up when I get another no from another agent. Ideas, peeples…Do you celebrate your rejections? What’s your guilty pleasure?
*Update: The Husband said ponies are out of the question.
I go with chocolate—a small one–for every day I get a rejection. If the rejection is particularly hard-hitting (a pass on a full, or an agent I’m super psyched about) I’ll treat myself to a nook book. (Your hubby’s right though, they start to pile up).
What’s the BIGGER question is–what’s the celebration gonna be when you GET the agent?
smiley face stickers… one for every rejection and when you collect a certain number, Hubby takes you out for a treat… Hey- don’t laugh – it works for me to get the kids to get their chores done… and stickers are in-expensive… they come in a plethora of colors and shapes and designs so you always have something cool to look at… I personally prefer the sparkly ones, but seriously – whatever floats your boat will work… It’s almost like going back to kindergarten and getting that small reward – the one that said you put forth the effort.
for what it’s worth
For every rejection, you go hug your girl one more time and feel her embrace you back. I promise, the pain of the rejection will go away… I know… my kids have been hugged more times than I can remember.
The other benefit to that is she’ll see and truly understand (when she gets older) how her mommy puts herself out there every day to get her dream, and how many times you got knocked down and didn’t give up. Give her that lesson.
I’ve read that about 5 times and want to break out in song every time. Thank you, Stef. Much love and happy vibes.
I love you. And? You inspire me. I am VERY SERIOUS about that. You inspire me to focus. To hold strong. To believe. To work hard. Don’t let it get you down. Stay strong. Believe. This will happen. It just will.
Reasons why I love Ooph…the last comment on my post. And because she’s the gorgeous girl I wanted to be friends with in high school. Seriously, though, I so heart you for this. And yes, I am buying a cork board and stapling these bad boys right where I can see them. Every. Single. One.
Rejecting ponies? Un-American. You my friend? You will make it. This book will happen. You work. And you work hard. Staple everyone of those rejection letters to the board. Your gift to yourself each time? Resolve. Drive. Look at them all each day and say out loud, “You people, you won’t break me. Someday you will wish you were riding on my pony.”
Love the idea of rejection panties. I’m going to give that one some thought. Honestly, after 90 or so query rejections from 2 novels, it’s not such a big deal. Now the rejections after the requested full, those hurt… and that’s why I like the big girl panties.
When I’m ready to query again, I’m buying a pair for every rejected full. At least I’ll feel pretty. ; ) LOL I am simultaneously hoping there are a lot of requested fulls and not very many rejected requested fulls.
90 queries, shawna? Remind me to shut up and deal for a while longer. I’m on #8 and already wondering how long I can last. Rock on. You have already earned your big girl panties.
For every rejection letter I get, I give myself a night off the computer to watch quirky movies, to read, to do anything BUT worry about my manuscript.
Since I can’t afford Pandora, I buy from here: http://stores.intuitwebsites.com/hstrial-newdreamzinc/StoreFront.bok. So far no one’s been able to tell the difference…oh wait…that could be because I never wear the bracelet because I can’t stand things around my wrist (yeah, leaves out the handcuffs and silk ties. What?)
I sometimes go buy a box (or two, depending on how personalized the rejection was) of ammo and go shooting (I have a Ruger LCR .38 Special double-action revolver. I call that little sweetheart The Equalizer).
I also buy a new brand of scotch with every rejection I get…so far I’ve tried 14 different labels…oh wait…you said you don’t have time for AA. Me either, but it hasn’t stopped me yet.
As you can see, I’m really no help (you’re not the first one to think it). Lately, with every rejection, I just remind myself that once I get my settlement for being bitten by Fritz the Chocolate Labrador, I’ll be going indie and won’t give a crap about rejections. Then I’ll just do all of the above over low sales & negative reviews.
Ah, the writer’s life!
Sharon, I heart this comment! You had me rolling. Please, if you can keep them as funny, I would welcome a comment from you on every post!
Slumber party! I haven’t had an all girl slumber party in a long time…
Of course, that wouldn’t work for me, because all my writerly friends are too far away. Hmmm…
Skype party!
OOOOh a slumber party? Sure…but I’d only be able to invite 2 people.
does that count?
LOVE the Rejection Panties idea!!! Also love the dialog between you and the Husband. LOL
NL, Thank you, lady! See? THIS is why I write non-fiction.
Rejection Panties! No, wait, hear me out. For every rejection, you can buy a new pair of BIG GIRL PANTIES to put on to suck it up and WRITE/REVISE!
You know you love me.
How about a plant that you can water and watch it grow into something beautiful out of such a kick in the teeth. And then I can come over and we can sing Kum Ba Ya…
What about refrigerator magnets? They have ones with sayings on them nowadays that are inspirational while keeping you focused. We have one that says “When you’re going through hell, keep going. ~Winston Churchill”
How about CANDLES! Everyone loves candles! Oh, you have a child and 2 dogs. Hmm…perhaps nothing breakable. Or that can be used to burn down the neighborhood.
What do I honestly think you should do? For every rejection you get, write a chapter of your next book…AFTER you go out and have that HUGE drink with your girls.
HC, I love you. Big Girl panties…I might have to look into that idea. At least that wouldn’t break the bank AND it would be kind of practical, yes? As for refrigerator magnets? Remind me to show you a few of my favorites when you get back over to my place. They are classic.
I think for every rejection hubs should take you out dancing. This accomplishes a multitude of good things.
1 – YOU GET OUT OF THE HOUSE – in adult company, which makes it even better.
2 – Hubs pays the price for his lack of belief in you.
3 – You BURN calories
4 – Dancing makes you FEEL good.
5 – It doesn’t have to cost a lot (as long as you drink water)
6 – You’ll get more ideas for more books.
Shoot!!! Now I want to go dancing.
Hey there, LK. Thanks for the comment. Dancing sounds like a great idea. But I’d have to look up where to go out where I live. I think pickin’s are pretty slim. Also, The Husband is supportive…He’s just a sarcastic jackass sometimes. Which makes us a good pair.