I once tweaked my neck sneezing. This is important to note because two days ago I sprained my ankle.
While standing in front of this…
I can’t get into further detail because there aren’t any. I limped my way through packing The Husband’s work cooler, getting his dinner done before he woke up for work, and getting Buttercup into bed. I woke up yesterday morning not being able to walk, kissed The Husband goodnight as he climbed into bed to prepare for another midnight shift, and dropped Buttercup off at a friend’s house. That’s when HC Palmquist called to give me the same speech I gave her about being a jackass for driving myself to the ER and told me to stop by her place so she could play taxi.
Frankly, I think she was just looking for some cheap entertainment.
Observe:
check-in Nurse: And what are we seeing you for today?
Me: I either broke or sprained my ankle.
Nurse: When?
Me: Last night.
Nurse: Last night? Um, okay. Have you taken anything for the pain or swelling?
Me: *Blinking* Shit. I didn’t even realize that was an option. This is why I’d never be invited to appear on Celebrity Rehab.
HC Palmquist: Um, I think you actually have to be a celebrity for that to happen.
Me: Or shot someone in the head and had my name all over the tabloids. –yes, I’m talking about you, Amy Fisher.
HC Palmquist: *shrugs shoulders* Same difference.
Nurse: *Obviously ignoring the exchange* How did you injure yourself.
Me: I was standing in front of my refrigerator.
Nurse: *waiting.*
Me: That’s it. I was standing in front of my refrigerator.
HC Palmquist: Hysterical laughter.
Or this one:
Nurse Practitioner: What did you do to yourself, dear?
Me: No idea. But I can’t put weight on my foot.
NP: This happened when?
Me: Last night.
NP: last night?
Me: Why does everyone act like I should have come in right after I made the sandwich?
HC : *snickering* Because that is what a normal person would have done.
NP: (to HC) Thank you. (to me) Made the sandwich?
ME: That’s how it happened. I was standing in front of the refrigerator.
NP: And?
ME: That’s it. I. Was. Standing. In. Front. Of. The. Refrigerator. I grabbed what I needed to make my husband a sandwich and suddenly felt like comparing the pain in my ankle now shooting up my leg to an unmedicated childbirth.
NP: So, it never occurred to you to take an aspiring for the swelling?
ME: It’s swollen?
NP: Really?
HC: Hysterical laughter.
Or:
NP: Well, it isn’t broken. But you did really hurt yourself. You can see significant swelling on the X-ray.
Me: Thank God.
NP: It is sprained. You aren’t off the hook. I’m sending you home with an ankle brace and crutches. No weight on that injured ankle for three days.
Me: That count started yesterday, right?
NP: It might have if you had come in when you almost broke your ankle making a sandwich.
HC: hysterical laughter.
It wasn’t until after I sent HC home with a few tokens of appreciation for playing nursemaid all day that I realized I got had. I’m the one who should have been charging admission.
The line forms here, people. You’re welcome.
***
The problem with posting on a schedule is that life happens off schedule. Today’s focus was supposed to be on Leah Segedie and today’s awesome two-year-anniversary celebration for her ground-breaking Mamavation social media health initiative, but then all the crap before the asterix happened. And because it wouldn’t be funny on Wednesday, I figured I’d do do double duty and talk about both today.
If you are new to the blog, let me explain. Every Monday I try to post a personal health related update sharing my current experience with the Sistahs of the Mamavation community. The literal ups and downs…no harsh judgement allowed. Just support and open arms for those giving their all to trying to better themselves for their health and their families.
I also serve as an editor for Leah’s Bookieboo blog and post weekly. So yes, there is a fair amount of time invested, but only because I believe firmly that Leah has created a fantastic community and love being a part of it. I also love that i can call many of the moms friends and inspirations. Shelley, Kimberly, Kia, Stephanie, and Sue…thank you for being part of this group of Awesome created by Leah.
Happy birthday, Mamavation. Can’t wait to see what the next year brings you.
HC-for editorial clarity I left out the marathon infomercial we went on while waiting for the nurse to point and laugh at my ankle. but now I really do want those damned pants.
Kat, thank you for reading and the vote of confidence. I’m only a tiny part of the big picture, but I appreciate being called Important.
Kia, thank you! It doesn’t hurt nearly as much as it did yesterday, and for that I’m thankful. I appreciate the kind words. And thank you for the inspiration you provide.
You left out the most important parts! What about the Kymaro Muff Top Solid OrGreenIc Lover Injector????
Or when the NP called you the Modern Day I Love Lucy.
Or when she asked you if you’d ever used crutches and I gave myself a concussion falling off the chair laughing.
And I in no way went for the entertainment purposes. After all, what doesn’t kill us allows us to point and laugh…
Thanks for sharing! I’m sorry that you hurt your ankle, but man… I would have paid money to see the look on the nurse’s face! LOL. Thanks for being such an important part of Mamavation and Bookieboo. You guys really are incredible women. I look forward to more healthy support and motivation. Please pass on the love!
Pauline, oh sweetie, that looks painful! I’m wishing you a speedy recovery. I love what you do for Mamavation and Bookieboo – and want you healthy to keep posting and for your own well-being.