It seems the world is trying very hard to remind me of what I thought I already knew. Everywhere I turn I see a new reminder that body image, self-love and self-worth are the foundation on which our reflections are built. And once that foundation is shaken and cracked, it seems that the woman smiling back at us in the mirror is always a bit…unsure of herself.
My friend Janice posted this photo, which she found on Pinterest, and asked her blog readers a very important question and one that I am going to pose to you:
Which Woman Would You Rather Be?
That was the caption used with the image by the person who pinned it. Which woman would you rather be?
I can tell you which woman I’d rather look like. And I can tell you which woman I feel like. And then I can tell you that it’s all a bunch of bullshit anyway and none of it matters because it’s not about what we see when looking at and judging their bodies. It’s what they see when they look in a mirror. It’s how they feel about themselves. And who you or I would rather be doesn’t mean a damned thing to either one of them.
Maybe that’s the point. If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, why are we trying to tell everyone else that what they see is wrong?
My answer? I’d rather be the one who is happy and comfortable in her own skin. I’d rather be the one who loves herself and all that she was, is, and ever will be. I’d rather be the woman who didn’t understand what it is to be eating disordered.
Your turn.
Which woman would you rather be?
This photo that question, strikes me in a place where I have no words.. . .
Amazing post that is quite thought-provoking. Loved the photo and the conversation that ensued. Thank you!
I appreciate that and am grateful for your comment. I hope to see you back at aspiring mama.
Amazing post! You hit the nail on the head for sure!! Fantastic post! I agree with Wendy. I feel BETTER about myself than what the mirror shows me!
Amber? Good for you. What the mirror SHOWS us is nowhere as important as what our eyes SEE.
When I saw that picture in Janice’s post, I was unable to decide how I felt about the picture and the caption that was with it. I wasn’t as disturbed by that picture as the bunny trail that it took me on through the anti-fat posts on Pinterest. I wish I could say that I want a more noble goal than to be the smaller girl, but when it comes down to it, this photo does the same thing to me that the Georgia posters do to me. It shames me, and I am completely unable to have a logical thought after, because I am too busy spiraling into the pits of depression. That is the reason that I never got back to commenting on Janice’s original post, I was too ashamed and sad.
Tisha Marie, I understand how you feel and I appreciate your comment. This is difficult for me, too. But I am realizing I can’t fix my own thinking process unless I actually address what triggers me. I won’t tell you to not be ashamed because I know what you mean but I will ask you to please keep trying. That’s how we get better.
I want my body to match the person I am in the inside I am constantly SHOCKED when I pass a mirror. and see what I look like. .
I know this is easier to say than do but is it possible for you to focus on how you FEEL and not what you LOOK LIKE? I am a firm believer that optimal health cannot be achieved if we feel worthy of our own positive intentions.
I have been large for a long long time….and for a short while was smaller. I did like myself more then….but it is because I was active, outgoing, full of energy….but I did think I look much better. I can’t say I have had issues of thinking that I was fat…it is times when I am being lazy that I feel fat. Can I say I want to be “that” skinny lady or “that” heavy lady…No…I see plenty of skinny ladies that go through hell…and plenty of heavy ladies that are happy as can be. I want to be happy…and for me that probably means losing weight…but doing it healthfully.
Colleen, great outlook!
My entire life, even if I were the smaller of the two; I ALWAYS feel like the larger one. I don’t only feel that way, thanks to my body dysmorphic disorder…the larger one is always the one I see staring back at me. I wish I knew how to be comfortable in my own skin. I am trying. I am facing my fears but it’s hard to see past a lifetime of conditioning. THank you for this post and for making me think.
Deb, thank you for taking the time to read and comment. I wish I could be comfortable in my own skin also. It’s a daily struggle. Some days are better than others, but you know that.
I want to be the confident woman who doesn’t question other motives. I want to love myself. I want to be loved – no matter my size. I want to live.
Julie, I want all of those things for you too. Let’s try to get on the right track together, shall we?
Actually, I wasn’t asking which woman you’d rather be, i was asking what people thought of that picture, and the caption the pinner put with it. Unfortunately my post was misleading – I’ll blame it on my fever. The discussion that resulted was interesting though, and tomorrow I’m posting my own thoughts on it. Thanks for sharing your thoughts – do you mind if I include them in my post?
Of course I don’t mind. And I hope you are feeling better!
I saw this floating around Pinterest, too and didn’t yet get a chance to read Janice’s post. This is such a good point. I want to look like one and completely feel like the other. In reality, when I look in the mirror, I don’t usually see the one I feel like. I just carry that around with me and it doesn’t serve anyone well to feel that way. I’ve also been watching the photos float around with the bony, malnourished celebrity bodies of today and comparing them to the celebrity bodies of the early 60′s, such as Marilyn Monroe. That is a good perspective changer, too. “When did THIS become sexier than THIS?!”
I always joked that my life would be perfect if I had been born in the 1930′s so I could have enjoyed my 20′s in the 1950′s.