I don’t do resolutions. Not usually, anyway. In my mind, resolution has always been a fancy way of saying “This Explains Aqua Net and The Bangs Wave in Middle School.” Yes, a New Year is upon us, but most of us won’t notice since check writing went by the wayside when smartphones and banks started going steady and writing the wrong year in the date line isn’t a thing anymore.
What we will notice is the sudden influx of newspaper articles and magazine covers telling us How to Lose Those Holiday Pounds and New Year? New You! articles and blog posts that are meant to inspire us into losing the weight we put on between Thanksgiving and Today because we humans like to celebrate with food made up of easily applied labels for convenient headline writing like the Rich Fudge Brownie that morphs into Bad Brownie, BAD and Other Mantras To Repeat While Sweating Our Asses off in Spin Class.
Or Mom’s Lasagna becomes Motivation for Sticking to Your Resolutions.
And you look in the mirror and hate what you see and promise to love what you will become and all of it feels right and okay and you don’t even think twice about talking about your fat ass and muffin top in front of your children because of the Aqua Net and Bangs Wave in Middle School. Thing is, many of us won’t stick to whatever promise we paid lip service to. I’m not judging. I’m not pointing fingers. Remember, I don’t do resolutions because I’m the one relating with you, right? Exactly. I’m merely pointing out that you will have long given up on trying to look like everyone else at the exact same time so you can cross that finish line together and high five and then start all over when the Halloween candy hits the shelves in August because that’s the cycle so many of us fall into.
Well, screw that.
This year, I’m trowing away the hairspray. I’m kicking my foot through the mirror. I’m dropping my scale in the trash. And I’m giving the middle finger to every media reference to Why I Am Not Good Enough Until because I.Am.Good.Enough.NOW, dammit.
I’m not making resolutions. Instead, I’m making Declarations that do not include an expiration date. I am stating Intentions for Inner Peace and standing on my soap box and speaking my Truth because resolutions are made to be broken and I’m broken enough already. I’d rather work on putting myself back together on my own terms and in my own way.
So here’s my List Declarations of Intention and Truth for 2013 and the rest of my life. Let’s sit down, read up, and then and sing Kumbaya in rounds while we tell each other how beautiful our spirits are because it’s all about being there for each other, y’all.
List of Declarations of Intention and Truth for 2013
* Before I start making resolutions to “better” myself, I will change my focus and make one to accept, love, & cherish myself as I am.
* I shall forgo any and all post holiday diets and shirk any health goals directly related to how “bad” I was over the holidays because food only carries the connotations, which we seem to willingly give.
* I shall refocus my health intentions, should I have any in mind, to be centered directly on how I feel physically and emotionally because I treat my body right when I feel good about myself. End.of.Story.
* I will ignore the media and its incessant people watching, paparazzi obsessed culture, which only serves to spread the false and unattainable ideals of perfection, thereby putting undo pressure on women of all ages to conform to a singular idea of how we should look and for which our musculature may not even fit. Unless I’m blogging, on Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, Google +, or in line at the grocery store to buy milk and I see a headline that pisses me off. Then? It’ s on, bitches.
* I shall refrain from using phrases like “I hate my ass” and “Wow, that’s a lot of fucking cellulite” when I happen to catch naked glimpses of myself in the mirror, especially when the five-year-old is anywhere withing hearing distance. What I say about myself is just as important as what she think about herself because what she hears shapes what she will think and she’s listening whether I know it or not.
* I will and shall reread the previous Declaration again. Because it’s that important. From my nose to my toes, I will lie through my teeth if necessary and convince the Littles in my life that Mommy thinks she’s gorgeous just the way she is now. Pretty cool, right? Cuz Molly’s mom down the street has serious self-esteem issues and hates her ankles. I think Molly is starting to develop a complex because if Mommy hates her ankles then something must be wrong with Molly’s. See? Now I’ll read it again. My words + her interpretation = Mama Thinks She’s Beautiful Just The Way She Is.
* I shall Do (and Believe) as I Say and Do as I Intend to Do. Translation? If I say to you, my readers, that you are beautiful and wonderful and perfect as you are, I will believe the same of myself because one day mind will win over matter. If I say to you, readers, that no matter how today panned out, tomorrow is the Universe’s way of giving you a chance to try again when the sun rises? I’m on that train, too.
* I will address The Mess inside of my head and face it head on, feet planted firmly in the ground and hands on my hips. I’ll probably even raise an eyebrow for good measure. The Mess might suck. Dealing with it may not be pretty. But the only way around is through. And through it I will go. I’ll see you on the other side. That being said, let’s move on to the next item because they’re totally related.
* Fuck the gym membership. I’m signing up for therapy instead. Why? Because when training a puppy, positive reinforcement is key to success. The dog has to want to learn and believe in itself and it’s master’s love or ain’t nobody learning to roll over and play dead no matter how many Scoobie snacks being tossed its way. Translate that analogy to taking care of me and that means that unless I become my own master and love myself and believe I am worth it now, I’m most likely going to give up before I start because I won’t believe myself worthy of the work involved to get to My Version of Healthy later.
* I shall try to do more yoga, start meditating for ten minutes a day, and eat the right foods for my body not because everyone headline says it’s time to do so, but because these things are good for me always and make me feel better always.
* I will not beat myself up for missing a yoga session or a yoga week or even if I roll the mat back up and leave it in the closet for a few months. I will celebrate all of the good in my life instead and celebrate more when I find myself in Warrior Pose one day because I missed the feeling.
* I will stop doubting my worth, start believing in the value of my words and the message I share, and make things happen because fairy tales only have happy endings because the princess opened her eyes and walked into her happily ever after fully believing that she deserved it.
* I shall embrace the positive, accept the crazy, and deal with the bullshit as it comes because I believe I am strong enough, smart enough, and perfectly capable of doing so. Just The Way We Are. Right? Right. Rinse. Lather. And Repeat.
And there you have it, my friends. Words I can commit to. Intentions I will see myself through in the year to come and the one after that, too.
Who’s riding shotgun? We’re going for a ride.
I have also recorded a reading of this post as a vlog, which you can see here on Girl Body Pride. Happy New Year, my friends. I think 13 is going to be lucky.