This mess will still be here when you show up for dinner. Deal with it.

 

Things I’ve done this week:

* Confused a gopher for a beaver

*Packed up and moved from one rental to another

* Photographed a caterpillar

* Slept only when my eyelids gave up

* Decided that anyone who moves and is able to unpack within a week is probably using magic from fairies who owe them favors

* Got published on Latina.com

* Watched The Husband get the moving truck stuck in 4 feet of swamp

* Laughed while a front loader towed both both The Husband and The Husband’s friend out of the swamp

* Explained to Buttercup that The Husband wasn’t pissed off at her while he swore like a sailor after getting the moving truck because he’s a man and that’s what they do when they colossally fuck up and they have to call for back up

* Said this sentence to my child, “Daddy isn’t mad at you, baby. He’s mad at the world. We just happen to be in it.”

* Kept a secret still a secret (I know, I’m impressed, too)

* Watched the moon follow us home

 

 

 

“Mama? Is the moon really following us”

It’s almost 10 p.m. before I realize I haven’t eaten since lunch. Considering lunch had been my only meal since the one I ate yesterday, the hunger pains make sense. No time to stop, no time to eat…chop chop, people, time is money and daylight’s burning and look, it’s burned itself away. The full moon is clear and bright and I understand the awe in my daughter’s voice as she stares into the night sky.

I tell her that the cool thing about the moon is that every single person looking at the exact same moon at the exact same time see the same moon following them, too.

“You mean the moon is flying all over the world at the same time? For everybody?”

I probably learned the science behind the illusion as a kid myself, but I think I forgot it all on purpose. The wonder in her voice reminds me why I never bothered myself with remembering it. I peer into the rear view mirror and see eyes blinking and heavy with sleep and tell her how proud I am. My little mover worked from morning till night filling boxes, packing toys, and loading and unloading the moving truck as we drove between rental homes. This is the last trip for the night, the moving truck as already been turned in, and The Husband’s Jeep leading our little caravan of two from one borrowed space to another.

She’s almost six. This is the fifth house she will call home. The third state she will be able to point to on a map and show you the ones she’s lived in. But it’s her first Big Girl move. We made sure she was included in the decision when we selected the house we are just a few minutes away from now. She’s helped me, over the last two weeks, load up our truck with small loads of boxes we haven’t unpacked in over four years and store them  for opening when we find our Forever Home.

That’s where we’ll be able to set up a swing set, paint her room any shade of pink she wants, and plant a tree of her very own. That’s where The Husband and I will watch her take root and grow.

I smile into the dark and tell her that yes, the moon is kind of doing exactly that: flying for everybody at the exact same time. Or at least, it seems to be.

“We’re not moving from here,” she says, still keeping watch on the moon.

“You mean, the new house?” I ask her.

“Maine,” she says. “I like it here.”

“I do, too.”

And we’re here. Or there. Or in between. The moon disappears behind the tall pine trees, casting them into shadows outlined in white.

“Maybe we’re home now, Mama,” she says as I turn off the engine. “The moon just went to sleep.”

 

 

 

I’ve got a lot to catch up on and not enough time to do that catching. Mostly because I’m still sitting on some major news I can’t share yet, am in the middle of a move from one rental to another  and spending most of my waking hours driving one truckload at a time, and alternating homeschooling with searching for my last nerve.

Because I was locked out of admin after that nasty spam attack on WordPress blogs, my favorite Canadian goldfish saved the day. Funny thing is, I don’t even know the woman’s real name and yet we’ve had these day long text message fests in which we argue my point that Tim Horton’s is actually Canadian for I Wish I was a Starbucks Inside of a Target Store. Ms. Peach Flambee seems to take offense to that, but I figure it’s just because she also happens to think she’s a goldfish. Either way, the fish lady is the only reason I’m actually blogging and not sending out smoke signals.

Which is good, because this happened while my blog was broken...

 

 


That’s my byline.

On Latina.com. The subject matter is seriously un-funny and was difficult to write, but I’m prouder than hell to see my words where they are.

Also? I can now actually justify all the time I’ve spent tweeting, blogging, facebooking, instagramming, pinning, Blogher-ing, Google + -ing, and word-whoring myself out in the name of Building My Platform as actual work. My CPA said so. I have never been so thrilled at the prospect of paying taxes.

The best part is that The Husband turns 40 in July.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?

For the first time in the six years since I left journalism to raise Buttercup, he won’t be paying for his own birthday gift.

I’d like my finger monkey now, please.

 

My deacon adjusted my coccyx. I should probably mention that my deacon is also my chiropractor.

I refer to myself as Mexican-Catholic. The short answer to your question is this: I believe in God and I show up at church for weddings, funerals, baptisms, first communions, and Easter. If I’m lucky, that sometimes means I’m only setting my alarm once in a given year to get there on time. Don’t think I’m being disrespectful. I know I suck at being Catholic, and I’m not a huge fan of organized anything, but the religion (at least for me) has always been wrapped in culture. Before I hit send on anything important, I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and make a sign of the cross. When I find anything I’ve lost (which is often), my eyes instantly look upward in a silent Thank You. And my Spanish might not be what it was before I started kindergarten, but I can still recite the Our Father without tripping over my own tongue.

When we got married, The Husband agreed to a church ceremony for me. We agreed on baptizing Buttercup and my taking her to church at least until she makes her First Communion. After that, it’s up to her. It’s the same set of rules my parents had for me and I’m good with that.

The thing is, you don’t just show up for the First Communion with the pretty dress and expect anyone to just bless you and send you on your way. Buttercup is almost six now, so I found a church, started going to bed before 3 a.m., and she and I are now regulars at the 10:30 a.m. mass, right after Sunday school. I can’t say we’ll be there the Sunday after she makes her First Communion in two years, but I don’t know that we won’t be, either.

Last Sunday, as we sat in the pew during the service and listened to the words, I realized something. It wasn’t Profound. It’s not Deep and Meaningful. But it is pretty fucking hilarious because learning that your deacon adjusted your coccyx after you almost broke your tailbone falling down the stairs because your deacon also happens to be your chiropractor is just the kind  of thing happens when you live in a small town.

 

I should probably start with I’M SORRY. Mainly because I seriously had no intention of becoming an internet tease.

There’s news that I am absolutely DYING to share because

* It’s exciting

* And Fucking Awesome

* But mostly because I suck at keeping secrets so not saying anything is actually HURTING MY BRAIN.

The plan for today’s announcement has been delayed. Which sucks. But Hurry Up and Wait is the name of the game in the publishing world. I can say that I’m a finally a Contracted, Tax-Paying Writer, which I haven’t been able to say since I left The Detroit News to raise our daughter almost six years ago and Colossally Suck at freelancing. ( Seriously, do you know how Organized you need to be to keep all the plates required for regular income flying and how hysterical that concept is when you try to say the words “Pauline” and “Organized” in the same sentence? )

I know. I couldn’t keep  straight face, either.

Anyway, please don’t shoot the messenger because the messenger probably needs her Xanax. She just got off the phone with A Person in the Writing World who informed her that more time is needed before The Announcement can be made. I’m okay with this. Probably because I just chased that Xanax with an espresso, but who’s judging?

Until then, it’s back to business as usual. There’s the Mom thing, the Packing to Move into a New Rental House thing, the Wife thing, and the working on finding my Zen with my recently resumed Yoga & Just Dance 4 routine I’ve got going on with Buttercup. There’s the Homeschool thing, the Girl Body Pride thing, and the Furious Texting to Family & Friends to let them know I need another week to make good on my Promise to Validate the Working in my Pajamas thing.

This is good. Now I’ve got a few extra days to figure out how to fit Paleo-ADHD-Yoga-loving-Hippie-Homeopathic-Homeschooling-Mexican-Living-in-Maine on a business card and not make it look to wordy.

 

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