Good gawd, I’m picky.

I was when I was dating and I am probably worse with querying agents for Baby F(Ph)at. Case in point: I got my first boyfriend when I was 16, had three serious boyfriends before The Husband decided he was the Prince this Mexican Princess was looking for and answered my ad, and walked down the aisle at the ripe old age of Are you fucking crazy? You have your whole life ahead of you!!! 24.  Maybe I missed out on some singles fun by declining that Spring Break trip to Mardi Gras with the sorority sisters I wouldn’t have paid to be friends with because I was too busy staring at the shiny new engagement ring on my finger prior to becoming Mrs. The Husband, but hell, I was happy where I was ( i had always said I would marry a guy who was half Mexican, taller than me, and spoke more English than Spanish. Guess what I got? Yep…exactly what I ordered). No need to go looking for what I wasn’t.

Querying is very much the same for me. I have compared the process of searching for an agent to finding love a few times on the blog, and the comparison is still true for me. And? It explains why I have only queried 10 agents since July.

Namely? I am not a query slut.

(Don’t get your panties in a bunch. I am not calling you a query slut. I am merely saying that I am not one. Big difference. Huge difference. Huge!)

Sure, I could have had my letter in the hands of 40 or 50 or more agents by now. Some may argue that I should have. But I respectfully disagree (in my case, anyway). Because when it comes to searching for an agent, I am being just as picky as I was when I was looking for my prince. If I don’t get all super excited and start dreaming about how my first name would match his last how insanely awesome it would be to have THIS agent take me on as a client, then I’m not going to bust my ass to perfect the personalization on the query and send the damned thing out. It’s hard enough when I want it to work out. I am not going to go that kind of crazy when I only have a name, an email address, and no idea who this person is or if anyone else has ever heard of them. (And yes, I did turn down one agent who refused to give details on her track record. Call me crazy.)

Which takes me to the search itself. I’ve gone through the requisite books at Barnes & Noble. I’ve highlighted names in my agent listing books. And? I have twitter-stalked enough agents long enough to know if I am going to continue following and query or unfollow because I’m not getting all googly-eyed at the thought of them calling me if I make myself pretty and send them a note with a box to check yes if they like me. Like my Husband requirements, my agent list is pretty specific. I’m betting she will be a mom, appreciate a properly placed F-bomb, and have an active twitter account or at least know what a tweet actually is when not referring to the sound the birds make in Snow White. Did I mention I was picky?

So maybe my search is moving slow. Okay, slow is an understatement. But that’s okay with me.I’m still looking. And I’m not sweating the small stuff. The Husband answered my yahoo ad the day I was clearing out the inbox because I had decided I was going to take a break from the dating scene. The rest is obviously history.

Now…let’s see how this agent match search of mine plays out. ‘Cuz I could query her…or her…or maybe? Maybe I’ll just wait for the next agent that has me doodling their name in hearts on the cover of my notebooks.

 

I’m in the middle of querying my book, single-parenting until the New Year when The Husband’s schedule takes him off of the midnight shift, and trying to stay one step ahead of the laundry. So it seemed only natural to say yes when I was asked to start writing product reviews for baby gooroo.

I have a history with the site, which focuses on breastfeeding and children’s issues including health and nutrition, so I am beyond excited to add more bylines to those already in the baby gooroo archives.

Check out baby gooroo on twitter, as well. And follow me under my Pauline_Campos account, if you aren’t already, as I will be primarily tweeting article links from that account.

And lastly, I am searching high and low for products to feature in my reviews. The focus, of course, is on pregnancy, breastfeeding, parenting, attachment parenting, children, health, and nutrition from ages 0-6. If interested, please contact me via twitter or by email (check out the contact me tab on the blog).

Now excuse me while I log off to get back to making dinner so I can get Buttercup dressed (again) for her preschool Halloween party, back home, into bed, and then see The Husband off to work before logging back in to blog, research, write, and possibly, sleep.

Have I mentioned I thrive with deadlines looming? Because, yes, I really do.

 

I’ve thanked The Academy before. And because it’s almost after midnight and I just finished cleaning the kitchen and have only a few precious moments to clear the voices from my head which are all named Muse I am going to do so again. But this time, it’s for an entirely different reason.

I know I am still agent-less and dreaming big, but the latter can be attributed, in huge heaping portions, to the friends who have helped me make it this far. (Cue the sappy music, please.) And because my brain has no concept of what is known throughout the rest of the world as memory retention The Husband paid for Lasik because I kept losing my glasses. On My Face. and because I am convinced my agent search will actually have a happy ending with lots of fanfare, I have taken it upon myself to start my list of thank you’s now. You know, before my brain gets flooded with bright lights, book deals, dollar signs, and the tweeting birdies flying in circles round my head from the probable head injury allowing me to believe any of this will come true.

Before I attached the term Writer to my name, book acknowledgments were never read. But since then, I have read every one and really? I have no idea who any writer is able to remember everyone they are supposed to thank with all of the publishing craziness that has to be going on. In my I am Published daydream version of the giving a speech naked nightmare, I picture myself naming everyone I can think of, only to realize after the book is on the shelves that I forgot, you know, everyone else who helped me get from Chapter One to The End.

So I have a list in my Droid X. And every few days I’ll add Someone Important to it. Here’s what I have come up with so far:

*The Husband: Obviously. Without your support, none of this would be happening. I’m not sure if it was the “When are you going to write the damned book and make me rich” harping or the “You can do it, honey’s,” but one of these tactics obviously got me through this. Oh, and shut up. It took 10 years from when we met, but I did it. You’re welcome.

*Buttercup: You are my everything, little one. And I know I will be paying dearly when you can read. Until then, consider yourself my Muse in Residence.

*Mom: Because of you I could indulge in 3 am writing sessions and wake up at noon to a happy, fed, and dressed toddler. Thank you for making it possible to make my childhood dream a reality.

*Pati: I love you and your Bump-it. Thanks for allowing me to make you a character in my book. Did you move out so I couldn’t mark you for the next one? (Well played, my dear. Well played.)

*BFF Mel: The Husband claims you are the only person I have ever met that I actually really and truly like. Being the anti-socialite that I am, and considering I get tired of people who want to converse in person on a regular basis, this is not a point I waste time arguing. I love you. And am sure I do only because you understand the craziness in my head.

@Jterzieff: You are my writing partner, my friend, and my better half with your own amazing story to tell. Thank you. For everything.

@HC_Palmquist and @nlgervasio My first “real” friendships that sparked from a tweet. Break a pencil, my dears. Then take the world by storm.

@Jeannevb: You are The #TwitterPimp, and I count myself lucky to have been brought into your social circle. Thank you for reading, for laughing, and catching those typos.I owe you some #tequilatime. And a bedazzled pony.

@Mercedesmy: You took what I had and made it better. Then you asked for more. My ego says thank you.

@beltonwriter: For making the time to tweet, laugh, and read. You know, in between your crazy writing schedule and drinking fermented grape juice. Let me know when you publish another book in English.

Don’t get your panties in a bunch if you think you deserve some ink on my list. At least not yet. I still have to write Part Dos. You know, after I punch out from Motherhood late one night and decide to forgo my beauty sleep so I can make sure I stay one up ahead of my dream.

 

It’s time to change things up a bit. It’s time to take the focus off of the baby f(ph)at essay contest and on to the actual anthology.

I’ll be honest, I’m not cut out to be a contest blogging mama. It’s why I gave up my old blog and hopped on my own little wordy bandwagon over here at Aspiring Mama. But I am all about connecting with other women, other mothers, and working on an anthology that I think will speak to anyone who picks it up.

So what’s the deal? I wrote Baby F(Ph)at: Adventures in Motherhood, Weight Loss, and Trying to Stay Sane…and that is my journey. I want to read about yours. How motherhood changed your perspectives about body image, weight loss, and getting into or staying in shape. I want honesty. I want to laugh. I want to relate. And I want it to read like a conversation between best friends over a few bottles of wine (after the kids are asleep, of course, which means you are totally allowed to swear.)

So far, I have a few awesome pieces from previous contest winners which will be considered for the final project, and am in search of more.

I know I’m not the only mother out there who is wondering what the hell happened to her waistline after the baby came. Or the only one who’s wishing Karma didn’t take names when I was on the other side of motherhood and passing judgment on women I knew for “letting themselves go.” Forget Hollywood moms and the fairy-tale disappearing baby pooch…I want real moms to come clean with their own stories. Make me laugh. Make me cry. Make me want to call you up and meet for coffee (sugar free and skim-milked, of course!). Make me connect with you as a mother and as a person. Just make it real.

Here are the guidelines:

* Stories must be between 500 and 1,500 words and be told in first person. This is your story…not your neighbors. Make sure to include a short bio with contact information.

*Essays should focus on the topic of weight. Suggestions include:

—Your expectations prior to becoming pregnant versus the reality

—How pregnancy changed your body

—How you lost the weight

—Acceptance of your new shape

—Balancing the needs of your children with your own

* No anonymous or author unknown submissions.

* Please submit only stories or poems that have not been previously published.

* Submissions should be sent to aspiringmama@gmail.com with “Anthology” in the subject line.

* By submitting a story, you give www.aspiringmama.com the right to re-publish and distribute your work on this website, and in any other formats (including, but not limited to, the site’s Twitter feed, RSS feed, and possible publication in a book).

And that’s the deal, peeples. So who wants to share?

**Deadline is April 22,2011. Feel free to email with any questions. I look forward to reading your stories.

 

It’s official. I have tossed my hat in the ring for what promises to be an eye-opening experience with the Mamavation campaign.

Mamavation

I posted the details a few days ago, but here is a little snippet of what the program is about and why I feel it’s so important to at least give it a try and see how far I can go.

The Mamavation campaign is a social media experiment started and managed by Leah Segedie (@bookieboo), a walking little bit of inspiration who has successfully lost over 170 pounds over two pregnancies. She runs the Bookieboo site (where I have been an editor for almost a year), which is all about making families healthy, one mom at a time. It’s free to join, an awesome source of support, and the stepping point for those who may consider joining the Sistahood, which is the virtual healthy living sorority committed to learning healthy living.

I pledged and am a proud Sista now, thank you very much. Which leads me to the Mamavation campaign. I’ll let Leah explain it here.

“Mamavation™ is a social experiment and weight loss campaign in social media with the goals of teaching moms healthy living lifestyle choices so they can share with their family. Mamavation™ is a two part campaign: (1) a virtual healthy living boot camp for two moms and (2) the home of the first virtual healthy living sorority in social media, the Sistahood™”

Those moms selected enter into a 7 week healthy living virtual bootcamp, tweet, vlog, and otherwise share every detail of their experience, with the goal of becoming healthier and motivating others to do the same. Click here for the scoop on the rest of the details.

And in order to be considered for the campaign and possibly make the final five, I need all of you reading this blog (writers, BFFs, sisters, Sistas, friends) to tweet the following to Leah to show her that we all mean business about finding my waistline:

“Hey @bookieboo! I want @aspiringmama to be the next #Mamavation Mom. She has my support! http://bit.ly/zqUxa”

Oh, and um, tweet this message A LOT.

As I stated earlier, I wrote the book. Now I need your help to write the epilogue.

Oh, and thank you.

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