Let’s get right to the point: I have a serious potty mouth. It might be genetic.
My mother curses like a sailor. Always has.
And no matter what any child experts will say about setting a good example, me and my four sisters grew up with a very good understanding of what we could and could not say.
“Darn it!” Yeah, that was okay.
“Damn it?” No…not even an option.
So when Buttercup was born, the Hubby and I did are best to start watching our language- like we were supossed to.
He did great.
Me? Not so much.
I was letting “Mother-fuckers” and “shits” and “God Damn Its” slip like they were going out of style when in the privacy of my own home. Out in public I have always been the picture of motherhood. (There goes that image right now, eh?)
It doesn’t help that at 19-months, Buttercup is extremely verbal for her age. She said her first word at four months (Momma) and her first sentence at ten (What’s that?)! And, since I can’t exactly record her first F-bomb for posterity in her baby book, I figured I’d be in good company here.
She sleeps with me most nights, and not too long ago decided to wake me up earlier than usual. As I set her on the floor and proceeded to stretch and groan, I sighed out a sleepy “Ohhhh fuck!”
I was too tired to realize what I had just said until I saw her mirror my stretch, down to the closed eyes and barely audible “Oh fuck!” baby-voiced sigh.
“Oh no, baby!” I quickly said, “Mommy said “luck!”
“Oh fuck,” was my wide-eyed and innocent reply.
So what was I supposed to do? Whatever the appropriate response was (like not swearing in front of her to begin with) I just laughed. Loudly. Badly. And then she joined in.
The funniest part of the whole thing is that for about two weeks after, Buttercup would stretch and sigh out an “oh fuck” to let me know she was tired. I did my best to behave and ignore it, and eventually she stopped. (This provided me with great relief because I am sure this would not have gone over well during a visit at my mother-in-law’s house.)
My friend Sara has an 11-week old baby and as innocent as she looks, she’s got a pretty raunchy mouth, too. Sara keeps asking me when she has to stop swearing and I give her the “appropriate answer” and the “real life answer.”

Appropriate: “In order to provide the best example for Brynn, you need to do your best to curb the bad language now.”
Real Life: Yeah….about that. I’ve got one hell of a story for you.”