* Yes, I did in fact say that in my head with an exaggerated Spanish-accented English voice.
* Because I can.
* If you don’t laugh, you’re actually hurting my feelings.
* Things are insane.
* Hence, the list.
* Turns out you guys are all Made of Awesome.
* Why, you ask?
* It’s too late.
* She’s been crowned & the new image is available on a variety of Crap We’ll Buy Our Kids Because We’re Giant Suckers.
* And because even if she’s been sexed up, the movie is still amazing.
* Oh right.
* Because if we tell our children it’s the message that matters and not the size of her waistline, we done good.
* We have no choice, really, since Disney contradicted the very message behind Brave with this whole debacle.
* You know, the one about family, independence, and finding the strength to find out own fates within us?
* Yeah, that one.
* The happy asides?
* So high five on that, y’all.
* New subject.
* Keep up with me, will you?
* I’ve got an updated version of my Mind Over Medicine review on Girl Body Pride.
* You’ll want to stop by.
* Gigi Ross from Kludgey Mom needs some love.
* Trust me on this one.
* Also? I’ve got a winner for the Aspiring Mama giveaway of Mind Over Medicine.
* Tanessa Knoll? Buttercup just said Comment Number Two is my winner.
* So … you’re welcome.
* Email me your address, will ya?
* Twitter works, too.
* New subject.
* Buttercup is about to follow in Mama’s footsteps.
* Little girl has been granted permission by The Mama (me) & The Daddy (The Husband) for a pretty cool gig.
* Girlfriend is going to be a regular contributor to Holly Fulger’s Speaking of Beauty blogging team.
* I know, right?
* The girl can read at a fourth grade level but has the typing skills of a 5-year-old.
* Probably because she is five.
* So I can’t knock her for that.
* Instead, I’ll be transcribing my baby’s words and views on what beauty means to her.
* I promise not to edit what she says.
* I hope like hell I’ve done right by her and taught her that beauty is everywhere.
* And that society is full of assholes who will try & knock her down a peg or two but that they don’t matter.
* I’ll know I’ve succeeded in about 10 years.
* If the child is self-assured enough to wear this when she’s 15 because it makes her happy without giving a damn what you think?
* I win at motherhood.
* Whiplash warning.
* New subject.
* I really need to take my Xanax.
* That wasn’t the subject change.
* Just proof that I need the fucking Xanax.
* This is the subject change…
* I forgot.
* No, wait.
* GOT IT!
* Girl Body Pride has new team members!
* You guys kick major ass.
* I promise to add your bios to the writer page sometime before 2014 hits.
* Was that all?
* No, seriously.
* I was asking you if I needed to cover anything else before I chase that Xanax with an instant espresso.
* Shut up.
* It works for me.
* Last subject.
* And it’s a Big One.
* And The Husband just warned me to be on the lookout for the family of moose in the area when I let the dogs out.
* Drops Mic & Saunters Offstage.