Every. Single. MoMent.

 4 Responses »
May 092012
 

So we are all in agreement that motherhood is the hardest and most rewarding job there ever will be, yes?

And are we nodding our heads in agreement that there are times when our little cherub-faced angels turn into crazed feral children on the hunt for that last nerve we are so desperately holding on to? And that it is these times that all we want is for them to run off the sugar buzz so we can make them sit still long enough in front of the T.V. for us to make a quick escape into the bathroom, lock the door, and just breathe for a minute because Me Time now means being able to pee uninterrupted?

Good.

Because then it’s bedtime and they get droopy-eyed and snuggly and there are stories and rituals like asking each other what our favorite part of the day was and then pretending to be shocked that their answer is almost always the part that they got to spend with us and they drift off into innocent dreams and we sigh, content, because every single moment is just worth it?

Motherhood is insane. It’s intense. It’s incredible. And we at 30 Second Mom want to hear from you. The one day out of the year devoted to this crazy ride we are all on is almost here and we want to showcase your favorite Mother’s Day memories in the 30 Second Mom Most Memorable Mother’s Day MoMents Contest!

Here’s how to enter:

- If you haven’t already, register for a free 30Second Mom account by visiting the website at www.30secondmom.com or downloading the iPhone or Android app and registering for an account right from the app.

- Record a 30Second video telling us about your Most Memorable Mother’s Day MoMent. Each video should be no more than 30 seconds long, which trust me, isn’t all that much time. Have fun with it! Check out my video as an example!

- Send your video via email as a .mp4 or .mov file, along with your contact information including name, email address, snail mail address, phone number & Twitter handle (if applicable) to [elisa at 30secondmom.com].

- Once your video has been posted to the 30Second Mom website, you will receive a link to share with your friends and family.

30 Second Mom contributors have put together various prize packs for those selected as winners, so please check out founder Elisa All’s blog post for more information. Good Luck! And I look forward to learning about your favorite MoMents at 30 Second Mom!

Happy Almost Mother’s Day, y’all!

 

I’d Have Stuck To One Topic But The Pharmacuetical Grade Speed Hasn’t Kicked In Yet

 7 Responses »
Apr 162012
 

Maybe it’s the phase of the moon. Or perhaps it’s my head adjusting to new meds. Or it could just be that my Muse decided to clock out without notifying me and is currently sipping mimosas by the pool at some beach side resort while I sit here staring at my blog wondering what the hell I’m going to write about.

If it’s the latter, that bitch is so fired.

Until I figure out where my motivation went, I’ll thank the Universe for providing me with a few bits of awesomeness to fill this space. Hopefully, my motivation will find its way back home by Wednesday, with that being my next regular posting day, and all.

And now?

 

The First Bit of Awesomeness

My friend Jenna Glatzer must have stolen my scale, as is evidenced by the following Facebook posting:

Dear Bathroom Scale, I’ve been eating nothing but bird food and cereal for 2 weeks. You are now supposed to show me a LOWER number as a reward for my efforts. I don’t mean to question your competence as a scale, but I just thought I’d point out that you seem to be doing it wrong. If you need help understanding how to lower your numbers, please ask my bank account.

 

The Second Bit of Awesomeness

 

It’s Back to the 80′s week at Funny Not Slutty, y’all. I was lucky enough to be included in the awesomeness, which happened to work out nicely since I was still in possession of The Funny. We’ve got 80′s babies and leotards and John Cusack and a whole bunch of, like, neon-colored, multi-bangled hilariousness going on over there from a boatload of talented women. Click on over, read my piece on what the M in MTV should stand for these days, and save me a trip to my therapist with a little ego boost I like to refer to as A Comment.

 

 

The Third Bit of Awesomeness

You know that An Army of Ermas site I contribute to? (This is the part where you nod your head and say yes because even if you didn’t know before you know NOW and will spend your coffee break catching up so you don’t have to lie next time) My editor over there, Angie Mansfield, decided I was worth an interview on her blog, The Wandering Zebra and it would be ever so sweet if you’d pop on over, laugh in the right spots, and leave a comment to make me look good for The Powers That Be. (This is the part where you nod your head and…oh never mind. I see you are already familiar with this program. Carry on.)

 

The Fourth Bit of Awesomeness

Remember that LifeProof iPhone case contest? You know, the one for the case that you can pretty much do anything with and STILL have a working phone? Want to know who gets a free case in their choice of color? I’ll tell you. Or rather, Random.org selected one of you lucky bastards and I get to pass on the good news. Shelley Oswald will soon be tweeting from the shower with her purple LifeProof case JUST BECAUSE SHE CAN.

Thank you to LifeProof for sponsoring the contest and to all of you for entering.

 

The Fifth Bit of Awesomeness

This one is my favorite.

There’s gonna be a wedding, y’all. And I’m gonna be a bridesmaid! Congratulations to my BFF Heather and her new fiance Dave. Buttercup approves, so you guys are all clear to proceed with the planning on the nuptials.

Happy Monday, you crazy kids.

Because I suck at follow through

 4 Responses »
Feb 242012
 

It’s true, y’all. I somehow managed to finish an entire manuscript and get started on a few more but The Husband is pissy that basket of folded laundry from three weeks ago is still sitting on the floor in our bedroom. I’m not sure what his problem is. I mean, I managed to remember to get the clothes into the washer, then the dryer, and then out of the dryer before folding them all nice and pretty. I’m all LET’S CELEBRATE THE POSITIVE and he’s all I’M POSITIVE IT SHOULDN’T TAKE THREE WEEKS TO PUT A BASKET OF CLOTHES AWAY.

And before anyone gets all What an ASSHOLE, let me present a few points. The first is that I knew he was an asshole when I married him. It’s totally part of his charm. Trust me on this. Also? He has a J-O-B that keeps him busy and frees me up to try to earn that monkey I’m dreaming of, so we kind of made a deal that I’d take care of the house and kid and he’d, you know, go to that job thing.

My point is that I don’t actually remember a time limit set upon each household responsibility so I’m totally in the right on this one.

And while that may be true, that’s totally not even why I started writing this post and talking about sucking at follow through (HEY EVERYBODY! THE BLOG POST IS A VISUAL AID IN AND OF ITSELF! FUCKING GENIUS!). I’m here to tell you who won that drawing for The CHICKtionary by Anna Lefler.

 

Drum roll, please…

Is that a squirrel?

Never mind….

The winner is Beth Bartlett! Send me your address so I can tell my New Best Friend Anna where she gets to ship that signed copy.

 

Congratulations, Ardee!

 No Responses »
Jan 312012
 

Congratulations to Ardee-Ann! You won the free copy of Abigail Green’s Mama Insider! Make sure to contact me so we can get you your new book. Enjoy and thank you for entering.

And the Winner is…

 2 Responses »
Jan 242012
 

I’ve been a bit overwhelmed with life lately but I finally came up for some air and remembered there was a contest for a signed copy of a book by a certain favorite child actress gone powerhouse Mom. And that I was supposed to come back here and post the winner for you all to oooh and ahhhh over before clicking over to Amazon to buy your own copy?

My methods for deciding the winner were complex in that I avoided Random.org because that would have involved too much effort and not been as amusing as asking The Husband to choose a number. He chose the #9. Which is Jodi.

Congratulations, lady! Be sure to contact me with your information so I can get on that thing involving your SIGNED COPY OF SOLEIL MOON FRYE’S BOOK! And Soleil? Thank you for this opportunity.

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